2006 Movie Spoilers -updated 10/10
Documented below are the endings and or plot points to several 2006 movies. If you don't want to be spoiled, do not continue past this paragraph. If you never go the movies though (like at least half the people I know), read away. They're in alphabetical order too, fyi. Updates to follow periodically.
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DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!
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SPOILERS BELOW!
*************************************************************
DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN BECAUSE I SPOILED SOME CRAPPY MOVIE FOR YOU!
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All The King’s Men: Sean Penn repeats performance from I Am Sam but with a Southern accent and far more arm flailing. Then, Mark Ruffalo kills him and gets killed himself. Kate Winslet is a whore and Jude Law sulks a lot.
Brick: Lukas Haas dies in the end.
Clerks II: Donkey sex show.
Deep Sea 3D: It’s underwater, and in IMAX.
Firewall: Harrison Ford saves his family from the bad guys.
Half Nelson: Ryan Gosling still looks really hot even when he smokes crack. At the end he cleans his apartment.
Hollywoodland: Adrian Brody never finds out what or who killed George Reeves.
Inside Man: The older Jewish guy, the younger hot guy, and the pretty girl from the hostages are all in on the heist. Clive Owen hides in the bank for a few days, escapes, and gives Denzel a diamond. Christopher Plummer was a Nazi.
Lady In The Water: Bryce Dallas Howard shows up naked at Paul Giamatti’s apartment complex. Some Chinese tenants tell a story and Bryce is the main character from the fable. They all throw a party and Bryce goes home.
Little Miss Sunshine: Alan Arkin dies; his granddaughter gets kicked out of the pageant. Everyone learns a lesson.
Mission Impossible III: Ethan Hunt retires & has a baby with a Katie Holmes doppelganger.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: Geoffrey Rush’s pirate character is alive!
Poseidon: The boat sinks. Jacinda from Real World London lives, Kurt Russell doesn’t.
Superman Returns: Superman & his perfect hair fuck an anorexic Lois Lane, have superboy. Also, Lex Luthor causes some bad stuff to happen.
The Black Dahlia: Hilary Swank’s mom (or dad?) is the killer, Aaron Eckhart bites the dust, Scarlett & Bucky make a 'mess' of the dining room table.
The Break Up: Title gives away the ending.
The DaVinci Code: If you don’t know how this story ends you must live under a fucking rock.
The Departed: Markie Mark Lives! Okay okay, I'm not giving away the REAL ending to this for a long time because I insist that you go out & see it now! (Best Movie of 2006 so far!)
V for Vendetta: Natalie Portman was really captured & shaved by V. Then he dies and shit blows up.
When A Stranger Calls: A stranger calls & chases a teenage girl around a big-ass house at night. She escapes, he doesn’t.
X-Men: The Last Stand: Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Professor X die. Brett Ratner gets paid.
*************************************************************
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!
*************************************************************
SPOILERS BELOW!
*************************************************************
DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN BECAUSE I SPOILED SOME CRAPPY MOVIE FOR YOU!
*************************************************************
All The King’s Men: Sean Penn repeats performance from I Am Sam but with a Southern accent and far more arm flailing. Then, Mark Ruffalo kills him and gets killed himself. Kate Winslet is a whore and Jude Law sulks a lot.
Brick: Lukas Haas dies in the end.
Clerks II: Donkey sex show.
Deep Sea 3D: It’s underwater, and in IMAX.
Firewall: Harrison Ford saves his family from the bad guys.
Half Nelson: Ryan Gosling still looks really hot even when he smokes crack. At the end he cleans his apartment.
Hollywoodland: Adrian Brody never finds out what or who killed George Reeves.
Inside Man: The older Jewish guy, the younger hot guy, and the pretty girl from the hostages are all in on the heist. Clive Owen hides in the bank for a few days, escapes, and gives Denzel a diamond. Christopher Plummer was a Nazi.
Lady In The Water: Bryce Dallas Howard shows up naked at Paul Giamatti’s apartment complex. Some Chinese tenants tell a story and Bryce is the main character from the fable. They all throw a party and Bryce goes home.
Little Miss Sunshine: Alan Arkin dies; his granddaughter gets kicked out of the pageant. Everyone learns a lesson.
Mission Impossible III: Ethan Hunt retires & has a baby with a Katie Holmes doppelganger.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: Geoffrey Rush’s pirate character is alive!
Poseidon: The boat sinks. Jacinda from Real World London lives, Kurt Russell doesn’t.
Superman Returns: Superman & his perfect hair fuck an anorexic Lois Lane, have superboy. Also, Lex Luthor causes some bad stuff to happen.
The Black Dahlia: Hilary Swank’s mom (or dad?) is the killer, Aaron Eckhart bites the dust, Scarlett & Bucky make a 'mess' of the dining room table.
The Break Up: Title gives away the ending.
The DaVinci Code: If you don’t know how this story ends you must live under a fucking rock.
The Departed: Markie Mark Lives! Okay okay, I'm not giving away the REAL ending to this for a long time because I insist that you go out & see it now! (Best Movie of 2006 so far!)
V for Vendetta: Natalie Portman was really captured & shaved by V. Then he dies and shit blows up.
When A Stranger Calls: A stranger calls & chases a teenage girl around a big-ass house at night. She escapes, he doesn’t.
X-Men: The Last Stand: Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Professor X die. Brett Ratner gets paid.
posted by Jami674 at 10:56 AM
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